


Flash

by ferric



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Ereri Week, Ereri Week 2015, I'm Sorry, M/M, Minor Character Death implied, i haven't written anything in so long
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-01
Updated: 2015-06-01
Packaged: 2018-04-02 08:26:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,331
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4053268
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ferric/pseuds/ferric
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Levi was a photographer. Eren wanted him for his magazine. For the Ereri Week’s prompt: Pining.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Flash

**Author's Note:**

> I decided last minute that I was going to write one thing for ereri week. Only one because I have to worry about a major qualification exam. 
> 
> Sorry for the typos guys. ;A;

 

 

Pine (pīn)

 _v_. pined, pining, pines

1\. to yearn deeply .(1)

2.  _Archaic_. to suffer grief or regret over.(1)

***

***

***

Grandfather collected photographs. Not family portraits or frames of holiday pictures or wallet sized images of grandchildren or nieces or nephews, but photographs that Eren occasionally saw on National Geographics or the Times or any of those magazines that Eren’s ex-boyfriend used to read but Eren himself had no interest in. Mom used to joke that Grandfather loved those photographs and his little pug more than his own family, but Eren didn’t know what she was talking about. Grandfather loved him.

Eren hadn’t thought of his grandfather until now as he studied the portraits lined along the walls of the tiny studio. There was one picture in Grandfather’s collection that stuck with Eren now ever since he saw it when he was ten, and this photographer’s work is partially the reason why he was here.

Just when the assistant came with a smile and asked him to follow her, the front door of the studio opened. Eren was startled from his thoughts from the roaring of the heavy rain. A man in a navy raincoat walked in, dripping wet, and then the studio faded into silence as the door slid shut behind him. He tapped the tip of his umbrella on the door mat, once, twice, before pulling back the hood of his coat with a sigh.

“And they were complaining about a drought,” the man said dryly. Droplets clung on to the tip of his bangs, until he swept the damp hair from his face. The assistant rushed to the man’s side to take his coat, and Eren could hear a rumble. “Petra, I know how to take care of my own coat.”

“I’ll take care of it. Mr. Yeager is waiting for you,” Petra said, and only then did the man finally looked up at him.

“Thank you,” said the man whom Eren had guessed was Levi by now.

Petra left with a knowing smile.

Eren waited until Levi approached and took the time to study the man in front of him. There wasn’t much that Eren could tell by first glance, but he did note that Levi walked with a slight limp in his left leg.

“Levi.”

No last name?

Eren shook the offered hand. “Eren Yeager.”

“I can’t imagine that you just happen to find me in a phone book,” Levi said. “Do they even have those anymore?”

“I don’t know,” Eren answered honestly. “But you’re right–I’m here because Armin recommended that I talk to you first before I talk to any other photographer.”

“Armin Arlert.” If Eren didn’t know any better he would say that Levi sounded almost fond. “He’s still working as a rat?”

“Nah, he got promoted,” Eren bit back a laugh. Armin always hated that nickname. “They have him under social media now since he’s the only one who could tweet and make it sounds good.”

Levi scoffed. “The only one in that staff who knows what the internet is, more like.” Eren wanted to point out that wasn’t true–it was a skill expected now, but the nostalgia that flashed across Levi’s face stopped him. He’d always wondered, from what Armin told him of Levi, whether Levi ever regreted leaving the newspaper. “Gunther and Auruo still around?”

“A lot of the old staff got new posts, so I’m not sure.”

Levi’s face fell at that, but he quickly recovered because Eren could feel guilty.  "It has been a while.“

Eren didn’t know the whole story, and he wasn’t going to pry.

"So what can I do for you, Mr. Yeager?”

Eren straightened. “Armin said you’re going for a test shoot? I would like to be your model.”

Levi stared. He looked skeptical. “It’s not a paying job–not that you need it–but it’s not something a model of your caliber would take. Don’t you have magazine jobs chasing after you to stroke your ego?”

Eren almost snapped back a scathing reply, but he held his tongue. He strived for honesty instead.

“I want you to take my pictures.”

Levi tilted his head to one side. “Why?”

“Do you have any specifications for the test shoot?”

“Why are you here, Mr. Yeager?” Levi crossed his arms. He looked wary. Eren internally smiled at the sight. It was a response he was used to receive from people.

“What are you looking for in your model?”

“Did Armin send you?”

Eren sucked in a breath. “Mr. Ackerman.” At the mention of his last name, Levi narrowed his eyes. “Armin believes that you are wasting a precious talent, but he didn’t say anything because it wasn’t his place to. But when he heard that you’re closing your studio, he couldn’t stay silent any longer.”

“No, it’s not Armin’s place.” Levi met his eyes once more, something resembling fury curled around his shoulders. “And it’s not yours either.”

“I’m just here for the test shoot,” Eren said. He didn’t bother to point out that for someone who wanted to pull out of photography completely, Levi seemed eager to put out the notice for the test shoot.

Levi was silent for a while.

Then, “Let’s talk in my office.”

***

***

***

The job was fairly simple, and because there was no pay usually this was a job for prospective models trying to get practice in front of a camera. Eren just came back from a string of fashion weeks at Milan to Paris. He was no beginner.

Usually he would take the time between the menswear autumn/winter shows and the spring/summer shows for magazine jobs, but he had been working with Armin to get a magazine started for over a year, and it was time that he let go of modeling completely for it. When Eren asked about a photographer, Armin suggested one of his old friends. Eren wanted to see the man for himself.

And if this person happened to be the man that Eren had always wanted to meet; well, he wasn’t going to complain.

“So why are you looking to do test shoots?” Eren asked as they looked through basic gray scale shots that highlighted Eren’s facial features.  He had a feeling what the answer would be. Armin probably talked to Levi already, if Levi’s need for test shots of models was any indication.

But Levi didn’t seem to hear him. He frowned at the prints on the desk between them. “Let’s do another session.”

Eren looked down at the photos.

“You know, you could tell me how I should pose.”

Levi peered up at him from the top of his glasses. He looked very nice with glasses.

“I don’t mind being ordered around,” Eren said.

Levi continued to stare at him.

Eren smiled.

“Let’s try again tomorrow.”

“You’re not used to working with fashion models, are you?”

Levi paused in his track as he gathered Eren’s portraits back into a folder. For a second Eren thought he was going to ignore that comment, but then he said. “I’ve never worked with a model before. It’s–different.”

Another silence floated between them as Eren waited for an explanation.

“I work mostly with shooting sceneries,” Levi said. “Or events where I took photos of people naturally without posing. I’ve shot pictures for a few bands as their cover arts before, and sometimes I did need them to pose, but never with a fashion model, no.”

“Well, that’s why I’m here, right?”

Levi pushed the glasses up his nose and leaned back against the chair. “You’re here to test me.”

Eren winced. “Not exactly.”

“Armin told me you guys needed a photographer for your magazine.”

“You interested?”

“Are you here to figure out whether I’m good enough for the job?”

“Armin said that you’re more than qualified,” Eren said.

“But you don’t.”

Eren paused.

“You will have to work with models, a lot of them have more inexperience than me. I’m here so that you could get some practice.”

“You’re talking as if I want that job.”

“Armin mentioned you want a change in scenery.”

“Mr. Yeager–”

“Eren.”

When Levi blinked up at him with surprise, Eren smiled encouragingly.

“Eren then,” Levi rolled the name over his tongue. Eren hid the shiver that vibrated up his spine at Levi’s voice. “You could go back and tell Armin to mind his own business.”

Eren was silent for a moment as he thought about the best way to handle this tactfully. He wanted Levi as his photographer. He wanted him ever since he’d seen Levi’s photos in his grandfather’s office. He wanted him at ten years old without really knowing why. “I’m not here because of a favor for Armin.”

Levi scoffed.

“I’m here because I’ve seen all of your photos,” Eren said, and when Levi looked at him in disbelief, he added. “Even the animals in the wild series that you posted on your blog. I’ve seen your photos, and I know I want someone with your vision for my magazine.”

“I don’t take pictures of fashion models.” Levi looked uncomfortable.

“I’ve never started a fashion magazine,” Eren said. “We’ll both be on a steep learning curve.”

Levi stared at Eren as if he was trying to figure out what made Eren tick, and Eren put on his best innocent face. Finally, Levi sighed and said. “Let’s try another shoot tomorrow.”

Eren beamed.

***

***

***

Eren didn’t remember when it started. All he remembered was that he saw Levi’s photos in his grandfather’s office. Grandfather kept many, but there were a few that Eren couldn’t take his eyes off of. There was something special about them. Perhaps it was the lighting or the composition or the colors, Eren wasn’t sure. All he knew was that he was drawn to it, that vision Levi had that connected all of his photos together despite the fact they all contained different subject.

“Levi’s photos are your favorite, huh?” His grandfather pointed out one afternoon when Eren was staring at a picture of a beautiful red sandstorm. “He is my best photographer. No one has a vision quite like him.”

Eren understood what Grandfather meant.

He saw Levi for the second time at his grandfather’s funeral. His mother was lamenting that despite his obsession with photographs, Grandfather never kept a lot of photos with himself ever since his grandmother passed away. It was sad in a way. Everyone at the funeral kept saying how grandfather never got over grandmother’s death.

Eren wasn’t sure how to feel about that.

A week later they received a package.

From:  _Levi._

_I am sorry that I could not give these to you in person, but I have a job in Bueno Aires this week._

_Brendan was a fantastic journalist and a great mentor. I owe much of my life to him and his kindness._

Photographs. Numerous photographs of his grandfather with his news crew on his travels and at the office and at various work events and office birthday parties and even a Lost parody photo. He looked happy.

It was like he was seeing his grandfather lived through these photographs. It made Eren felt better.

Grandfather worked a lot with world news. And often, this meant he had seen a lot of tragedies without being able to do a thing about it aside from making sure the story lived on within other people.

“People live on, Eren. It hurts, but it will get better.”

***

***

***

Weeks and weeks of test shoots went by, and Levi became more confident with given Eren directions. It was awkward at first, but he quickly became more and more direct, and Eren was impressed with how precise Levi was with his words. Levi wasn’t afraid to be blunt, but he was tactful without being too callous. The shooting session went on smoothly, and Eren wasn’t too surprise when the photos came out beautifully.

“We did it,” Levi breathed. “We actually did it.”

“You got a great eye for composition,” Eren said as they looked through the photos together. They were everything that Eren knew Levi could accomplish and more.

“I got a good model,” Levi replied.

Eren felt his face heating up. He coughed.

It was silly. He knew he was a good model. He had ton of experience. Yet at the same time, Levi’s words made him felt tingly inside.

He felt like he was ten again, asking his grandfather about Levi and listening to stories about his grandfather’s crazy travel stories with Levi and couldn’t get enough. He felt like he was fourteen again, collecting Levi’s work from magazines and the internet and looking at Levi’s blog every day. He felt like he was fifteen again, wanting to be Levi, and then eighteen, when he wanted to work with Levi so  _badly_ , and—

—now, when he wanted something completely different from Levi.

But no matter how many times Eren asked if Levi wanted coffee or a meal with him over this past month, Levi would always refused, and Eren would always feel that sting of disappointment.

Nevertheless, he asked, “Do you want to get dinner to celebrate?”

Eren braced himself for another rejection. Levi didn’t say anything for a while, but then he turned to look at Eren, and to Eren’s shock, replied, “Sure.”

There was something warm in Levi’s eyes, and Eren’s heart fluttered.

***

***

***

The first time Eren met Levi was before he knew who Levi was. He was eight then and was really into fashion magazines, so much so that his parents were concerned. He found out later that it was because of his parents’ homophobic tendencies, but maybe his parents had a point because he liked men. He liked women too, but that was a bit too complicated for his parents to understand.

They were better about it now though.

The point was, Eren loved fashion magazines. He’d always loved to play dress up and pose for pictures, and when he discovered that there was actually a job where one could do that—well—there wasn’t any other option that he wanted.

It was summer, and Eren’s parents left him with Grandfather to go on a cruise. He was in the bathroom, looking proudly at himself in the full-length mirror with a pink tutu over a skirt and a crisp white shirt and vest and tie, trying on different poses when the door opened.

Levi stared.

Eren stared back.

“Sorry,” Levi said and shut the door.

A flush of hot shame ran through Eren. His parents didn’t like it when he dressed up, and his grandfather only tolerated it, and everyone said that boys didn’t do this, it wasn’t a good thing to do. He did it anyway, but it was an unspoken rule that he shouldn’t let anyone outside of the family know.

“People will make fun of you, Eren,” his mother had said.

Eren didn’t remember much of what happened immediately after that, but he did remember that Levi offered to take pictures if Eren wanted to pose. Eren had jumped up in excitement, and his grandfather apologized to Levi for Eren interrupting his work.

“I don’t mind,” Levi said. “I’ve never met such an amazing model.”

Later on when Eren reflected back on that memory, he understood that Levi was just being polite. But Levi was the only person who took Eren’s dream in stride and encouraged all that Eren was without an ounce of prejudice.

***

***

***

It was absolutely delightful to watch Levi’s face changed to abashment when Eren retold this story to Levi over dinner.

“You’re Brendan’s grandson,” Levi said apologetically. “I didn’t recognize you because of your different last name.”

Eren smiled as Levi’s expression morphed into delight. It was a subtle change that most people wouldn’t catch because Levi’s facial features barely shifted with each expression he made, and Eren congratulated himself for being able to read Levi.

“Shit, you’ve grown.” Levi sounded amazed. “Has it really been that long?” Then, his face dimmed. “I guess it has to be, since it has been at least ten years since I’ve left the news team.”

Eren quickly tried to change the mood. “You know, you were the only one back then who took my dream to be a model seriously.”

“Children can be more serious than adults realize,” Levi nodded. “I’ve seen your photos in magazines, but somehow it didn’t click that you were Brendan’s grandson. I should have known.”

“I was wondering if I should tell you when we started shooting together,” Eren laughed. “But I kept putting it off until—well—it became too awkward if I brought it up.”

“You brought it up just now.”

“We’ve both had enough wine for it to be less awkward.”

“Damn straight.” Levi took another sip of wine. The strings of lights overhead sprinkled gold into his hair.

As the evening went on it was easier and easier for Eren to draw chuckles from Levi. Warm, soothing sounds that rang out into the toasty summer night, rising about the clattering of patrons around them. The wind rustled by, and both Eren and Levi scrambled to keep their now empty paper plates and napkins from being blown off the plastic table.

Eren jumped when he accidentally smashed his hands on top of Levi’s instead. Embarrassment burned his face, and he quickly jerked his hand back.

Only to be shocked when Levi caught his hand before it slipped away.

Eren blinked. Hope throbbing painfully in his chest. As if Levi finally realized what he was doing, he let go of Eren’s hand and did not meet Eren’s eyes. The wind whistled on, flicking the tent flap of the food truck back and forth.

Levi cleared his throat. “We should probably head back.”

“Yeah, sure,” Eren said. “Ummm, do you—do you want to grab a meal sometime again? If you like food carts then I know a few other ones worth checking out.” He hoped he didn’t look too eager. Mikasa said whenever he tried not to look too eager, he always looked very eager.  _Fuck_.

“I’d like that.”

“Wait, really?”

Eren didn’t think Levi would agree.

Levi looked—almost shy. “I had a really good time tonight.”

“Me too,” Eren said, trying not to blurt out that he may or may not have a crush on Levi ever since he was ten. “I’m also glad that you agreed to do a test shoot with me.”

***

***

***

“He needed a change,” Armin said when Eren asked him why Levi left the newspaper. “Said he was going to travel to figure things out.”

“Is it because of what happened at that protest in New York?” Eren frowned.

“No,” Armin said. “Well, maybe. I don’t know. Well, it can’t be. He seemed to be working fine for a month after that incident.” Armin looked more and more uncertain by the moment. “Can it?”

Eren didn’t know.

***

***

***

Levi was a quiet drunk. The walk back was peaceful, and both of them were content with the silence until Levi spoke, “You know, I used to take photos because I wanted to change the world.”

Eren knew. He could feel it in Levi’s pictures.

“Not change the world in the way you think. But—to tell stories through pictures so that people would think and remember them.”

“What changed?” Eren asked before he could stop himself.

Levi didn’t reply.

They kept walking in silence. It was a while before Eren got the courage to break it.

“You know, I remember the photos of Grandfather that you sent us,” Eren said. “I don’t think I ever said thank you.”

“I thought it would be nice if you had something to remember him by,” Levi said. “I know you guys thought he was really sad for your grandmother’s death for the rest of his life, and yeah, he was, but—I wanted you guys to know that he also lived on too. He talked about you and your family a lot, and he was proud of all of you. You guys made him happier than you realize.”

It was something that Eren knew deep inside, but it was another experience together to hear it. “I know he was proud of you too. He said you were his best photographer.”

Levi snorted. “That is not what he told me whenever we barely met a deadline.”

Street lights and stores and people and cars passed them by, and Eren didn’t want the night to end. He consoled himself with the thought that there would be more nights like this possibly in the future, if Levi would permit it.

“Levi?” A voice stopped them both in their track. A young woman with fiery red hair up in a ponytail was in front of them. “Hey! I haven’t seen you in so long!”

Levi froze. “Isabel.”

Eren’s eyes darted back and forth between them, wondering who this Isabel was. His brain was already thinking of the worst case scenario—that this was Levi’s significant other or ex-significant other—but he quickly pushed those thoughts away. Patience, he told himself.

Isabel lifted her arms, clearly wanting to initiate a hug, but one look from Levi made her dropped her arms in disappointment. “Well, umm, I hope you’re doing well.”

Levi nodded.

Isabel turned to Eren then. She gave Eren a smile. “Hi.”

“Hi,” Eren said.

Isabel cleared her throat. “Well, I wouldn’t want to keep you.” Throughout all of this, Eren wondered if Levi was going to say something, at least acknowledge that Isabel was talking to him, but he remained frozen stiff. It was to the point that Eren stopped worrying about Isabel possibly being Levi’s ex-something.

“It was nice to see you both,” Isabel nodded at both of them before leaving. She gave them a friendly wave, but there was a defeated slump to her shoulder.

Even when she left, Levi remain standing where he was.

“Levi?” Eren touched Levi’s elbow gently. “You okay?”

Levi jolted out of his trance. He peered up at Eren.

“Yeah. Let’s head back.”

***

***

***

“…. _a young reporter died in an accident today when a police car plowed into a crowd of peaceful protesters in Time Square….”_

_“….family says it is not an accident…”_

_“….not a young reporter, but an intern…”_

_“….only eighteen years old….”_

***

***

***

Eren didn’t know how this happened, but two weeks ever since the incident with Isabel, he was sitting in a coffee shop on a Monday morning with the woman herself.

“Right, so….” Eren trailed off. “Why do you want to meet with me?”

He was heading to Levi’s studio for another of their meeting when he bumped into Isabel loitering outside. Apparently the secretary told Isabel that Levi wasn’t in today, when Eren knew for a fact that he was. It was obvious to all parties involved that Levi was avoiding this woman.

Somehow she managed to convince Eren that they needed to talk.

Isabel turned the coffee mug nervously in her hands. “Levi is avoiding me.”

Eren shifted uncomfortably in his seat. “I’m sorry, but I don’t know what’s going on. I don’t know how I can help you.”

Isabel caught Eren in her gaze then. There was something sharp in her eyes. Sharp and assessing. “Levi started taking photos again, hasn’t he?”

Eren did not reply.

“I’m glad,” she said softly. “I’m really glad.”

Eren stared at his own mug, not knowing what to say. There was history that he didn’t know, stories that he couldn’t understand, and he didn’t know how to react. History and stories that this woman knew better than him.

“Can you do me a favor?” Isabel reached into her purse and pulled out a thick envelope. She pushed it across the table. “Can you give this to him? There’re just photos.”

Eren took the envelope. “You don’t want to give this to him yourself?”

“My contact information is in there too,” she said. “When he is ready, he could contact me and we could talk.” Then, after another moment scrutinizing Eren, she smirked, “You do know I’m just his sister, right?”

Eren flushed, wondering if he was too obvious in his envy.

Isabel shook her head. She had a nice smile.

“Just—tell Levi that Farlan’s death isn’t his fault. I know he felt responsible because he was supposed to watch over us interns, but it’s not his fault,” Isabel said. “And I’ve…I’ve learned to move on from it. I hope he would too.”

Eren felt a strange tightness in his throat. “I will tell him.”

***

***

***

Levi didn’t say anything when Eren handed him the envelope of photographs. He took it from Eren and put it in a drawer and Eren had a feeling that Levi wasn’t going to open that envelope ever.

“Isabel said that she had moved on from what happened,” Eren said. “And she hope you would too.”

Levi closed his eyes as if it was physically painful for him to meet Eren’s eyes.

Against his better judgement, Eren placed his hands on Levi’s shoulder, and when he felt Levi leaning into his touch, he pulled Levi into an embrace. Levi said nothing, but Eren could feel the remaining grief that still thrummed under his skin.

They stayed liked that for a while, basking in comforting silence.

“Grandfather used to say that it hurts, but it will get better.”

Levi scoffed, “Sounds like Brendan,” and Eren had a feeling that Levi will work things out in time.

***

***

***

One day, Eren got a simple message from Levi.

“I opened the envelope.”

Eren smiled. “You okay?”

“Yeah, I think I’m going to be okay.”

***

***

***

“Our meeting is on TUESDAY AT 10:00 AM. And Eren, please don’t distract Levi because he needs on be here ON THE DOT.”

“He was only a minute late. Who can blame him, I give the best—”

“Eren I swear to god if you give me details I am going to kick out both out of this magazine. Don’t think I won’t.”

 

 

 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> 1\. Pine. The Free Dictionary. (http://www.thefreedictionary.com/pine)


End file.
